Pick up your plates!

"Don't forget to pick up your tray and trash the stuff", said my dear husband when we had gone to a nearby small Indian restaurant. I retorted saying, "Even after coming to a restaurant, I need to do this work and end up tipping them as well!"

This sentence made my "Indian-mentality" to kick in and realize how much a customer is pampered in India. Right from serving, getting the bill or clearing the plates after you are done, there is always someone to do all this stuff for you (be it small restaurants or fast food joints). I wonder if we have all these extra labours because of our population or because they want the customers to feel like a king/queen or, plainly put across, we feel it's demeaning to clear our plates?

And tip? I don't remember tipping any waiter in India with more than Rs. 10! But here in US, one needs to clear or sometimes clean their table and still pay 10-15% of your bill as a tip. SIGH!

However, what I really like about the restaurants/fast food joints here is that you are always greeted with a warm smile and a good old greeting: "Hello, how are you doing today? And what can I get you?". They go out-of-their-way to be friendly and warm towards you, as your tip is their income. And the best part is that you get to exchange any drink or food if you are not satisfied with it!

The same cannot be said in an Indian restaurant here. You walk in expecting to experience the "Indianess" and it kind of matches the expectations. The same old poker straight face and the unfriendly communication. The food barely matches the taste of authentic Indian food but you should be happy that you are seeing them in this country.

Well, one thing I learnt today is that you can take an Indian out of India, but not India out of the Indian ;)

The transition

After the short stint of my US vacation in 2011, I am back to this country for good. Karma, fate or destiny... whatever does one want to call it. My shifting to US is a glaring irony in my life. I was the type of a desi who always dreamed of marrying a guy at 23 and living forever in Bangalore. But life made sure none of these happened.

Enter Harish, my spoilt brat husband. Like most of today's youth, he always dreamed of shifting to US and getting a handsome pay. Though his dream was achieved, mine was lost in transition. Hence, i decided to treat my shifting to US as a break from everything. Again, fate had other things stored for me.

As I donned the role of a "homemaker", I realised I am turning into what I always teased my mother with - The money-pinching-stuck-in-the-house-high-class-maid!!! Thankfully, US does not have vegetable vendors who come outside our houses. If that would have happened, then I am pretty sure that I would have fought with the vendors for that extra bhendi or that extra green chilly too. However, my under-achievements did not stop at this.

One day I decided to take up the ambitious project of making the bhendi subzi (Bendekai Palya in Kannada) for my dear husband and my Indian-food-deprived stomach. Little did I know that I would end up being a mad scientist in her lab, who is adding different types of chemicals, which will eventually blow up on her face. I always knew that I was a good food critic, but a chef... NEVER! I cannot differentiate between the dals used for cooking subzi  to the dals used for making sambar or idly.

After I got the recipe from my mom (which involved me stressing her into giving me measurements in tablespoons and teaspoons), I started my quest to find my dals and vegetables. Thankfully Dallas has many Indian supermarkets and restaurants. So you don't have to go to an extent of shipping your monthly grocery from India. So I bought the dals which matched the description given by my mom and I was all set to kick start my culinary conquests (read: disasters).

After heating the oil, when I added the mustard seeds, it felt like someone is shooting towards me from inside the pan! Those damn mustard seeds, which are so dismissively tiny, acted like bullets aimed towards me. And when I added Onions and Green Chilies, they behaved like those teenage children who throw a tantrum when you give them some work. In the end, I somehow managed to dodge the mustard seeds' bullets and cranky onions, to complete my bhendi subzi and save our dinner.

Finally I am appreciating the all the hard work which my mother put in to conjure up a meal for us back in Bangalore and I am hoping that someday I will be a cook who can make edible dishes!

Arrival in US

Finally after a LONG journey, with no sense of time nor date, i reached Chicago. Things were not smooth as one expects when they reach US. The visitors have to stand in the never-ending line at the immigration office just to get their passports sealed and check their baggage. While i went through this process, i realised how serious Americans are regarding other country food items entering their country. They question you as to how a particular sweet is prepared and what items have gone into it. They are paranoid about "our foods" spoiling their crops!

Finally, upon reaching Dallas, harish gave me and aunty a super surprise. He had bought a car! From there my US experience starts. While returning from Airport to Harish's house i noticed that the traffic in US is organised! No one honked on the roads, everyone waited for the others to move ahead and most importantly there were no potholes and autos on the road! Its a bliss for this Bangalorean to know that roads without potholes and autos exist in the world :D

The next day we headed to the Indian hotel called Udupi Restaurant. When i saw my Mysore Masala Dosa all dead with no spice i learnt an important lesson in US - the desi people cannot expect the same food which they are used to back home even in an Indian restaurant! Then we headed to the Taj Indian grocery store where the desis get all the Indian items. The grocery store reminded me of the American movies where they show these desi stores which are in a sorry state. It was shocking to see that our Aashiwaad aata and Annapurna aata were repacked to Taj grocery store bags which did not have any manufacturing date or info. And i was shocked to pick up few Hajmola candies which had way passed their manufacturer dates.

Then we headed to the Plano Ganapathi Temple to do the vahan puja for harish's car. I was surprised (shocked) to see a house converted to a temple where most of the gods and goddesses were housed. While entering the temple i was conscious of my dress, as it would have never gone down well if i had worn it in India. The priest clearly did not recite the correct hymns for the vahan puja nor did he do it correctly. But, hey what can one say other than keeping quiet as there are no other pujaris around.

After that we headed to Allen street for the shopping arcade. Any girl can go mad seeing the number of sales going on in the high end designer stores. Hence i burnt a hole in my pocket by splurging on some serious retail therapy.

The place: Allen street

The store: Aldo

Splurge item: $50 bag and a clutch!

Then we headed to a "mediocre theater" (as termed by the localites) to catch the late night movie Thor in original 3D. The theater looked like our normal Inox or Fun Cinemas theater and it was fun watching the movie in original 3D. After watching the movie i understood that the 3D which one gets to see in India are not as good as the ones they get here. My night didn't end there as i insisted Harish's friend to take us out for a drive as i wanted to experience his maniacal driving. Apart from few places where i got scared, the rest of the time it felt like sitting behind an auto guy in Bangalore!

The next day started off pretty lazy. After talking to family people on skype and a brunch we headed out around 4pm to Starbucks coffee shop. I had heard so much about Starbucks that i was dying to taste their coffee. As the weather outside could kill anyone with heat stroke, i decided to taste their cold coffee instead of their hot one. This coffee frapachinno from Starbucks almost killed my liking for good coffee and i badly wanted to head back to my good old Coffee Day outlet to taste a tropical iceburg or masala chai. After i told the Starbucks person to change my drink to a strawberry one, they obliged. The thing which i like about America is that the shops vie for customer satisfaction!

After Starbucks, we headed to see Harish's university - Southern Methodist University in Dallas. The campus was huge with trees lined along the roads and plush homes for the teachers in their campus. The buildings were huge, which had a touch of renaissance period to it. I suddenly got thinking about how Socrates or Aristotle or even Rabindranath Tagore would have felt coming to this university to study! After a trip to SMU, i noticed that the sun had not set even when it was 8 PM!

Due to my jet lag, i had promptly slept off in the car and couldn't see where we were headed. Upon opening my eyes i saw a HUGE building which had the famous trademark - Walmart. The store is as big as the Bangalore Metro store, but this is open to public. They had unlimited choices for every product and one can easily get lost in the store!

Thus ended my day 2 in US. Looking forward to more memories and experiences in this land.

The shopping woes!

Right after you realise that you have a trip planning to one the beautiful countries, you need to prep your wardrobe a little and then buy LOTS of gifts to your dear ones and friends there. As these NRI's are devoid of all the "Indian" things there, it becomes your duty to buy the stuff here and gift it to them. But all these will come with a price tag and require your time.

Hence started mine and my cousin's journey in buying gifts for all our loved ones in US. We started our shopping at around 2 pm and ended it around 9:30 pm. What were we doing all this while in a shopping mall you ask? Well... we are faced with the dilemma of buying gifts to our loved ones whose taste in fashion, home decor and gifts have changed drastically after going to US! Hence, we should make sure that they absolutely LOVE the gifts which we'll buy for them. Its a challenging task if your fiancée has an impeccable sense of fashion and you will be left trying to find a notch higher of their taste. Sometimes your bang on target in buying the perfect gift but other times its most likely to blow up on your face.

The first phase of my shopping for the US trip was to shop for summer clothes for myself. As you might have guessed my wardrobe consists of mainly cotton clothes and those which i cannot dare to wear in India. Its funny that how our wardrobe, taste and collections change as we need to go abroad. The "revealing" clothes which were rotting in my cupboard, as i was not allowed to wear them in India, have found a king's place in my suitcases. Wish i could enjoy the same freedom to wear, as my mom puts it, "revealing clothes" even in India.

The second phase of the shopping is to buy the stuff for your loved ones and friends and try to accommodate them in your suitcases. My biggest worry while packing is that; What if these gifts break? what if I am asked to pay customs duty for taking too many things? Sigh!

Well... for a girl shopping seems to be the main motto for a trip. And mine has just begun. Hope I am able to take all the things safe and sound to US. :)

US diaries - the start

Well, finally its decided that i need to go to US to meet my fiancée and spend some time with him. little did i know that there are some 100 steps which i need to follow to travel to a different country. It all started with the initial step of changing the address to my current one in my passport. After shelling out quite a bit of money for the tatkal, the designated day came and i surprisingly cleared my passport interview in a short span of time. Then came the biggest hurdle of all - getting prepared for the visa interview!

The visa brings in hope along with worries as to what one can do if they dont get it! After paying an insane amount to the HDFC bank to pay for the visa appointment, btw this amount is not even refundable if you dont get your visa as i think it goes to the poor HDFC bank or the US govt. I think they wont refund your visa appointment money to teach you a lesson for planning to go to an overly-populated-by-immigrant US.

After the HDFC part, came some 100 step procedure to obtain a visa appointment. Right from taking the pictures for visa and saving them in a CD to getting all your documents in place. The thing is you never know what documents the visa officer is gonna ask you. Hence my struggle to get a 4 week leave started in my office. I had to plead my boss, my super boss and the AVP to grant me a 4 week off. After i got the permission to take 4 week off, i had to plead the HR team to send me a letter stating that the company has granted me off and i'll be coming back to India after 4 weeks. This is a crucial piece of document which a tourist visa applicant will require.

After getting documents which state that you have loans in India, property and a job, i headed to the Chennai US Visa Consulate. I reached a day before and had my worst experience of the chennai auto wallas. They are rude and crude and behave like parasites to extract as much money as possible from you. Suddenly i had new found respect to the Bangalore auto wallas. My visa interview was at 11:45 am and i was sure of dying in the Chennai heat. The thing is that Bangaloreans are such spoilt brats for weather, hence we cannot survive in any other weather apart from Bangalore. My future mother-in-law insisted that we reach the US visa consulate by 10 am. To my shock they refused to allow us to stand in the line unless our specified time came. Finally i stood in the line at around 11:30 am.

Standing in the line i realised that there are so many Indians who are waiting outside the US consulate to get visa. Suddenly i felt immense patriotism and didnt want to stand in this line and beg a visa officer to give me visa to go to US. But my future mother-in-law ensured that i stood in the line and we went inside. In the line, my future mother-in-law spoke to many people and expressed her joy in meeting her son. The other visa applicants expressed their hope and their dreams when they get visa. A girl, may be a 22 year old, was expressing her desire to reunite with her husband whose job was just finalised in US. it made me wonder if 2-3 years down the lane i'll be one of those girls.

finally after dealing with a rude and through security check we were allowed to go inside. Then we had to wait for our token number to flash on the screen to know which counter number we had to go to. My first initially thought was that the interview time had come. But later got to know that a woman cross checks our appointment and passports and then sends us to to scan our fingerprints. Then we are kept like lab rats in a small cell for some time. Then we are allowed to go inside the "American land in India" to give our interview.

There were about 30 counters inside the building where all the American officers were sitting inside a bullet proof glass and questioning the applicants via a mike and speakers. The applicants are expected to answer loudly and clearly in the mike, hence ensuring that everyone seated in the building can hear them crystal clear. I witnessed one of the 8th wonders of the world - Indians followed the rule of "Silence" inside the consulate! Me and my future mother-in-law sat in our places and again waited for out token numbers to flash on the screen.

During my wait, i witnessed the "American slice of law". A visa officer, who was in her early 20s, was interrogating one of the applicant in booth number 25. A child, which looked like was in LKG or UKG, was playing around. It was the only life thing which moved according to its will and spoke. This visa officer was angry at the child and its mother for creating a ruckus in the building. hence, she called the mother and warned her saying, "Your child is torturing the applicant here, you should teach your baby manners on how to behave in a consulate". I was shocked to witness this, as i really donno if anyone in this world can make a child understand the code of conduct in a consulate and the repercussions of irritating a visa officer. For all the child will care is its toys and friends.

After his incident i prayed to God rigorously that i should not be interviewed by that PMS suffering woman. Finally my token number flashed and to my happiness i was to go to booth number 17. A cheerful, fat and sweet looking Asian woman sat in the booth welcoming me and my future mother-in-law. She asked for our passports and cross checked the application. She asked me few questions such as: For how long have you been working, why do you want to go to US, when do you plan to marry, what course has your fiance completed and in which university. Then she asked my future mother-in-law as to why her husband is not traveling with her and how many children does she have. Then she said the magical words: Your visa is granted and your passports will reach you in 7 working days! I couldn't believe my own ears! After we celebrated a little and didnt care about the "Silence" law... we walked out beaming with joy and looking at all the other applicants with hope.

What really bothered me after this interview is that the visa officer didnt check even one of my documents! Even after putting insane amount of energy in getting everything in place, I wish she would have checked at least one document. But like the saying goes - Whatever happens, happens for good - i kept my mouth shut. It was time to call everyone and share my happiness with them. this lasted for about an hour and finally we went to have our lunch.

When my passport reached home, i was shocked to realise that i have got multiple entry visa for 10 years! It came as a shock to me because right from my travel agent to aunties who have been to US before had told me that my age people will usually not get visa or the lucky ones who get the visa will get it for about 6 months max. When i told all these people about my multiple entry 10 years visa they were truely shocked!

Thus started my US journey and i'll be flying on may 6th 2011. More about the journey and its preparations in the next blog.